i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
All the doctor said was why
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
