he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
i now understand why vodka
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
