He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
NoShamevember. You game?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize