Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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