wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
