Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
