I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
