is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
