Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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