I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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