I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
