I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
It was like getting head from an anaconda
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
