I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
