he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
