I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize