This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
