Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
