I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
nutella sex= disaster
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
