She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
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