Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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