I wish I could punch you in the face.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Let's get the cat blown out
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Panties = found
Randomize
