i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
