I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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