u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
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