"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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