my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
why do cheetos always look like penises
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
