He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
