Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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