What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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