im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
