She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Randomize