who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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