she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
