new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I deserve to be covered in dicks
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
