I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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