In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
