rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Michael Bay diarrhea
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
