Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize