Where did you get a picture of my penis
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
