Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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