im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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