"it" just moved
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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