Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
