absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize