are you so shy because you have an std?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
