too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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