Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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