There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize