ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
