I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
