; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
whose parrot is this?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
