All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
