God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
