I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
