Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
