When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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