I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
