I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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