I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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