We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
