I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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