So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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