I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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