Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
