Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
