I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
