Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
