he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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