we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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