Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize