Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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