I puked a lego.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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