i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Green mimosas i think yes
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Randomize
