is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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