Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
