There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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