Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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