im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
