who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
return my video game
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
