Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
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