i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
apparently the secret to your success is patron
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
