Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
